Jan Skrobotz

"Me, Doctor?"

Sketch by Monty Python, from: Monty Python's Flying Circus, Episode 13.

Cut to a man on a bench in casualty ward set.

Man
Albatross
Doctor and sister enter and go up to him.

Doctor
Mr. Burtenshaw?
Man
Me, Doctor?
Doctor
No, me doctor, you Mr. Burtenshaw.
Man
My wife, doctor?
Doctor
No, your wife patient, me Doctor.
Sister
Come this way please.
Man
Me, Sister?
Doctor
No. She Sister. Me Doctor. You Mr. Burtenshaw.
Nurse enters.

Nurse
Doctor Walters?
Doctor
Me, Nurse. (to sister) You Mr. Burtenshaw. (to man) She Sister. You Doctor. (to nurse)
Nurse
No, doctor.
Doctor
No Doctor? Call ambulance. Keep warm.
Sister
Drink, doctor?
Doctor
Drink doctor. Eat Sister. Cook Mr. Burtenshaw. Nurse me.
Nurse
You, doctor?
Doctor
Me Doctor. You Mr. Burtenshaw. She Nurse.
Man
But my wife, Nurse.
Doctor
Your wife not nurse. She Nurse. Your wife patient. Be patient. She Nurse. Your wife. Me doctor. Yew Tree. U- trecht. U-trillo, U Thant, Euphemism. Me Doctor.
(knight walks in quickly and hits him over the head with a chicken)
Albatross!
Women's Institute applaud.